I saw His face. The most beautiful face. He looked just like this picture above. The most beautiful hair. It was slightly lighter. His nose. Oh I can’t forget how beautiful his nose is. So pointed and so distinct. The only thing is that He was facing side-ways and looking up. I’ve heard many people say when they see Him, they see so much light and they can’t see His face. In my case there was no blinding light or light. It was just His face in the darkness. His face was the light. As I write this, Im reminded of the Scripture in Isaiah 60: 19 that says “The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory.”
I was wide awake but my eyes were shut and then in the darkness His face appeared. Oh it was so fast. I wish I could screen shot it but all I kept saying was “I’m not worthy Lord, I’m not worthy Lord.” I began to cry. The amazing thing is that one day I get to see His face forever and ever and ever in eternity. You see I’ve had a relationship with the Father but I had never seen His face and now in the midst of a global pandemic, at a time when I felt hopeless over an issue that caught me by surprise, He showed me His face. I always wanted to see it but I never thought I was worthy and I always thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it so I was ready to wait till I go to Heaven but He chose to show up in the midst of darkness. His face gave me so much hope. The despair left immediately. Now I can go on and on but this is not the point of this post. Just as He showed up for me in the midst of darkness, He has come to show up for a certain group of His children who are in the midst of the deepest darkness.
His heart is heavy for his children who have been sexually molested and sexually abused. He is coming like a rushing wind to rescue them. He is coming to rescue the child who is currently being molested by tourists in West Africa (I actually had a dream about this). He is coming to rescue the child that was molested during the lock down by the very ones that are supposed to protect him. He is coming to rescue the young lady who has been raped by people she trusted. The thing though is that He is not coming the conventional way. The conventional way hasn’t worked and has only made the issue worse.
He wants to go to the root and put an end to this and He is doing it by reaching out to those who struggle with the temptations of abuse, paedophilia, rape etc. He knows that they have been left in the darkness with no help and so they end up going from temptation to actual sin because they can’t fight it on their own. He says once He rescues them, they won’t end up committing the sin and this would put an end to the scourge of abuse, rape etc.
He sees that deep down many hate that they feel this way. He sees that deep down many too were exposed to the same sins when they were younger and they are only acting out what they were exposed to and so it is for this reason and for these people that I have written this letter.
Dear The Father’s son/The Fathers Daughter,
The Father has come to rescue you. He says to you that contrary to what you’ve been told or the lies that the enemy has told you, He died for you too. He says that He knows that you dear not tell a soul of your struggles because you will be crucified and judged by the same people who He commissioned to help you. He says that He has come to put an end to your emotional and mental torment. He says in His word in 1st Corinthians 10 : 13
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to [a]bear it.”
Guess what He is the way of escape.
Just incase you didn’t get that, read the Message version
“No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.”
He is there to help you through it.
He says that He knew you before you were born and so He knows the root cause of these struggles. Many have come because you were exposed as a child to sexual sins and this opened the door to the sexual temptations and addictions. Many also came because you were exposed through your blood line. He says He sees you who are struggling with desires towards children. The interesting thing is that He refuses to call you by the names because those are labels and that’s not how He sees you. He sees the struggle but when He sees you, He sees the blood of Jesus over you.
He says you should come to Him as you are and in His presence He will help you overcome these struggles. He says when you come as you are you won’t stay as you are. It is important to Him that you don’t run away from Him. He knows that you are scared about what men say and will say but He says that He is not a man. He would not be shocked to hear about your struggle. He already knows but it is important to Him that you share them with Him because that is the way you release yourself from the burden.
He says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart; and you will find rest. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11: 28 – 30.
He wants you to overcome these struggles once and for all. He doesn’t want you to have to deal with them any longer. What the enemy wants is for you to be in the dark and stay in the dark. This way he will keep bombarding you with these temptations and because you can’t fight it on your own you will end up falling. Once light comes in darkness will flee.
When I was young I was molested by a househelp at age 5. I was also exposed to pornography at as a child. As a child I was also exposed to sexual desires through childhood play with a childhood friend & family. We were children just trying out what we were exposed to. I had also seen a parent play kiss a child. In 2017 while I was in the United States for my book launch, the Lord started speaking to me about His desire to deliver His children struggling with sexual sins. From research I discovered that most people who were abused end up abusing others. For example R. Kelly was abused as a child by his older sister and he has also been accused of abusing young girls as well. This revelation opened a fear door and I became afraid that I would abuse even my own children. I was fearful and I began to be afraid it look at them. I was also afraid that I was a lesbian because of childhood play when I was a child. Prior to this revelation I had never even had any of these thoughts or any of these fears. The thing with fear is that it is as powerful as faith and in the same way that what you have faith for can come to reality, what you fear can also become a reality. Sadly this moved from fear to the most sickening thoughts that I used every fibre in me to fight off.
Thankfully I know these thoughts are not from God but lies of the devil. Thankfully I am in the presence of God and are able to overcome them.
What if I didn’t know the “truth” what if I believed those lies. Perhaps I would have gone on to act on my fears or thoughts and committed those sins.
As I was writing this I felt the Lord remind me that even with regards to bestiality I could relate, because I was exposed to sexual sin at a young age I recall seeing the dogs in our home having intercourse and even as a child a thought had come to me that what if dogs had intercourse with humans. Yes, I just wrote that. Sadly this is what happens to a child that is exposed to sexual sins at a young age. Even incest as a child there were incestuous thoughts.
Looking back now I realise that who I am today is truly just a product of God’s Grace. What if I was exposed to even more as a child. My abuser didn’t even have sex with me, He only fondled me in the outer part of my private part. What would have happened if he did more. What if because of what I was exposed to I decided to become a lesbian, child abuser etc. Who I am today is just a product of GODS GRACE and that grace is available to everyone regardless of their unique struggles.
I’ve been training to facilitate Sozo. Sozo is of the Bethel Church in California. It is basically a healing & deliverance ministry but not the typical deliverance ministry we all know. Once you go to a sozo session you feel like you have been to a spiritual spa.
One thing that is common is that most of the things we deal with today are as a result of childhood experiences. For example, a problem with anxiety or fear of lack is often traced to a childhood experience where perhaps the Father figure was not able to provide. We often see physical wounds but rarely do we see emotional wounds that need healing.
Given my childhood experiences, I am a product of Gods grace, the fact that I am not a child abuser, rapist, lesbian, and do not practice bestiality etc is truly just product of God’s Grace.
Now if you are reading this and you were exposed to these things and you are struggling with them, the good news is that God wants to help you overcome them. He wants you to come into His presence. He wants you to be free. You don’t have to continue struggling with these temptations. As I said earlier, in His word in …. He says with every temptation He has provided a way of escape. He is the way of escape. He provided Himself even before you were born because He had seen the peculiar struggles you would face.
Even as there is an outrage in the world right now because of all the stories coming out of children being abused and trafficked and as much as God is bringing justice and wants to save the children being taken advantage of, He also cares for you who are also struggling with the sins. Jesus died for everyone.
Now I know what I have written addresses people who have the struggles and temptations and have not committed the act. If you have already committed the act there is good news for you too. The same grace is available for you as well. Jesus died for you too and shed His blood for you too. My advise is that you repent and ask Him to help you overcome your struggles. Ask Him for wisdom and direction on what to do. It may mean confessing your sins to those you have hurt which may also mean you may be prosecuted. No matter what happens remember that any consequence here is temporary and this is nothing compared to spending eternity in Heaven with your Father who loves you dearly. I am praying for you. There is healing for you and for those who you have hurt.
As you come to the Lord and receive His redemption, you are also redeeming your generations to come who would not struggle with the same sins as you. For once light comes in, darkness must flee.
Love Father God
Please send me an email if this is you as I would like to pray with you firstname.lastname@example.org