The Love Of The Father… Both For The Abuser And The Abused



I have a very real experience with the above topic quite fortunately or unfortunately whichever way you look at it but… for me, it has helped me to see in real time the very “real” love nature of God the Father.

My story involves not just abuse but incest in my family. It is not a well-known story and I do not share it regularly because it is not my story to tell but today I share bits and pieces for the one who needs to experience God’s love through what my family has experienced. I struggled when I heard the opening for this article because this is not a can of worms I want to dig into but I believe that someone needs to see the very real culprit behind sexual abuse and the brokenness in both the victims and the abuser – through God’s eyes.

My family was a regular family till disaster struck; an open door was created by my parents’ divorce and all of a sudden “things” began to happen in my home. Things like stacked pornography magazines in the home and I also stumbling into reading those pornographic materials. We also did not know it at the time but a member of my family had abused one of us and he in turn abused one of us also. It was messy if I may say so myself.

About almost 10 years down the line the family member involved in the abuse gave his life to Christ. Now at this time he already knew what he did was wrong but could never bring himself to say he was sorry because of shame. By the grace of God he could finally apologize and was forgiven.

Last year while we were praying about our family and generational issues, God gave us a dream and showed us how the incest had caused a curse to come upon our home. He had forgiven us but wanted us to break the curse and release His blessings upon our family (see Leviticus chapter 18 – family incest, lesbianism, homosexuality actually brings on a curse upon the involved persons and also opens doors for that demon to continue to ravage generations afterwards. Now you have the answer for why abused people abuse others and how this can ravage a family for generations with issues. But this is not the topic for today… perhaps later because the Fathwr wants to SET YOU FREE also).

So God led us to break the curse, and the Holy Spirit poured out on us so strongly as we stood before God in prayer time, praying for restoration, mercy and forgiveness which He readily gave.

These instances as shared above (even though a bit deliberately shared vaguely because again the story isn’t mine to share but I am sure you get the gist of it) have made me see and experience the love nature of God for the abused in a very real and personal way. The said abuser who was also abused by someone else and spurred on by an inner voice/demon found himself replicating what he had learnt on his family. But God redeemed us almost ten years down the line, God saved him, forgave him, healed him, showed him how to forgive himself and in prayer broke the curse and led him under the blessing of being a child of God.

What would God not do for love?

I myself am a recipient of the love of God. I didn’t abuse anyone but I committed abortions; killed two of my unborn children but yet God saved me and called me into his service as a minister of the gospel.

What would God not do for love?

He sees more than we see.

He looks at the broken and seeming irredeemable and He sees how He can make them whole; healing them one step at a time and then setting them loose to heal many others for Him. I am so grateful to God for His grace. My life is a testimony of His love. My family is a testimony of His love and because of this when I share on abuse, I see not just the victim but I also see the abuser – He gave me the eyes of the Father.

In February 2018 after a retreat I suddenly cut into a certain part of the Father’s heart for abused women, and began to carry a burden for them. In March 2018 He gave me a fiction book titled ENIOLA for healing and restoration for abused victims. But it wasn’t just what the Holy Spirit shared from the stories of the abused victims that caught my attention but also of the abusers and how He loves them too and wants to heal and deliver them. It’s hard to imagine why? And I am sure that if you have ever been abused, you would have many questions: “Father does that mean that you were okay with what he or she did to me?”

His answer would be “no. But I love him too. He too is deceived, sick and in bondage to the enemy. I want you to know that the real enemy to the vileness, brokenness and strange pleasures we see today is Satan and not men and as long as I live and I am God, what I really want to see is all my children coming home to me”.

This kind of love cannot be faked neither can it be understood… it can only be received as truth if you open your heart to understand the love of the Father.

If you are an abused victim, I can relate with how painful the incident was…and more so the effects of that tragic thrust of wickedness into your life but God wants you healed and He wants you to forgive. And the only way you can forgive is if you see how lost your abuser also is. Maybe he/she was an abused victim too and though this doesn’t excuse them, this can show you how they too are caught in a trap of bondage God wants to set them free from.

Would you accept God’s love and forgive them today?

If you are an abuse or former abuser…would you also receive God’s love today?

God doesn’t want you to hide under the shame of your past; if you come to Him, He would heal and deliver you. It may not be a once-over job but just like He redeemed my family, I assure you that He can redeem you. But it starts with belonging to Him, coming to Him, knowing Him and not hiding in condemnation and guilt. Those are the voices of the enemy.

If you want to begin a new love walk with God, in forgiveness, restoration…in His love and mercy, you can start today.

Pray: (just speak to God right now as you read)

Father I am tired of carrying this baggage around. I come to you. I ask you for mercy and I ask you for grace. Please forgive me of my sins and heal my broken places. Quiet the voices of condemnation in my heart and show me your love. Give me a personal revelation of your love. Sometimes it seems like I am dying, show me why I shouldn’t. Envelope and wrap me with your love…Father. In Jesus name I have prayed, amen.


When you pray this prayer, you may or may not feel anything but I am also praying for everyone who reads this who needs the Lord’s assurance of His love even right there in your mess, in the effects of the abuse – you may be promiscuous now or you may have turned out as a lesbian or gay… or you may be the abuser who can’t stop or you have stopped but are still plagued by guilt and shame, I pray for the very real presence of God – of the Father – of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of love to wrap you in a warm hug right where you are; so much so that in the broken places of your heart, you just know that you are loved and love heals. The Father’s love forgives. The Father’s love forgets. The Father’s love delivers. And the Father’s love redeems if you would take His love arms outstretched to you.

I love you but God – the Father loves you more.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

And this we know that:

“… God is love…”

1 John 4:16 NIV



I wrote a book as inspired by the Holy Ghost called ENIOLA.

Book Synopsis:

Eniola is an abused girl who knows nothing but hate for the word ‘Love’. Is Love being raped by a boy she loved with all her heart along with four older boys who he brought to ‘open the way’?

Gloria is a scared child. She is 23 but in many ways still feels like the 13 year old Daddy rubbed vaseline on her bom-bom the night he told her they would make the ‘ultimate game machine noise’. They indeed made a noise that night; the noise was her scream in the dead of the night as Daddy raped her as proof of his love for her. 10 years later and still no one hears her screams for help as she is trapped in low self-esteem, an insane urge to masturbate along with a man who visits her dreams in the night to have sex with her. Is there hope for redemption for her soul?

Lyna is a girl who is mad at the world along with her two uncles who started it all. She wants more; she wants more with girls but mama’s priest says she would go to hell. She is frightened but cannot be good on her own.She likes her girls. Is there any hope for redemption for her?

Frances is a girl from a broken home. She wants love but ends up getting it from the wrong places. With abuse trailing her from the man who says he loves her and blood on her hands from two abortions – the result of the love she seeks… could there be any hope for her?

Is there love and redemption for broken girls and damaged women?

Is there new beginnings for the girls who cry at night?

Can Eniola find love again? Find out in this thrilling story of ‘abuse, pain, hope and healing’… ENIOLA.


You can download ENIOLA for free on Okadabooks in honour of International Women’s day from March 8th -March 13th 2019

Download for free from Okadabooks at:

And on Amazon at:

Hephzibah Frances

You can email me at or email if you need help or need to talk.

Social Media/ Instagram @HephzibahFrances



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