I was off Instagram when #survivingrkelly was trending but I found out about the documentary some how. I was so reluctant to watch it but I decided to. Perhaps because I was trying to run away from an assignment that I know God has called me – to those in the deepest of darkness that the world not just the church has condemned. As I watched each episode I made up my mind not to watch the next one but honestly I couldn’t stop until I finished watching them all. I probably watched for five hours straight. Nothing could have prepared me for what I watched. I felt SICK. I wasn’t myself hours later. My heart broke when I found out Aaliyah was just a child and was one of his victims. I wanted him to go to jail, infact straight to hell to pay for all he had done but deep down I felt a nudging that I honestly wanted to ignore. My sub-conscious was thinking “here we go again, can’t I just agree with the world even majority of the church on this issue.” “He is a monster” but the Lord said to me “he isn’t a monster, it is his acts that are monsterous”. I couldn’t help but succumb to what God was trying to tell me.
In my walk with the Father I’ve learnt that we must always ask him what his heart is concerning a matter even trending matters. We must ask where is He at work. The Lord said to me that if the young R.kelly got the help he needed then He wouldn’t have grown up to act this way. He reminded me that when I initially started watching the documentary I couldn’t help but think that something terrible must have happened to him as a child that would have made him this way. Almost immediately I had concluded he must have been molested as a child by a family member. Then I remembered that in the documentary he actually touched on it slightly but not in detail. A few days after this the Lord led me to watch another interview where his brother spoke about how they had been sexual, verbally and physically abused by their older sister from the age of about 7. She was 16. It was really bad. Basically everything R.kelly is doing today was done to him by his sister. The R.kelly we see today is a broken child who was sexually abused from the age of 7. The Lord opened my eyes to see what He had been speaking to me about since November 2017 (read previous blog post on February 14th, 2018 titled the God of the promise of the rainbow) about people who struggle with their sexuality, sexual addictions, sexual sins, sexual violence, sexual abnormalities even paedophilia that they were exposed as children. Most importantly He is saying that if the young R.kelly had a safe place to open up about his struggles and temptations before he acted on those urges, he would have gotten the help he needed and not committed these hideous crimes but there was no way he could open up to anyone that first he was sexually abused and second he had sexual urges towards children and darkness only thrives in darkness so no matter how hard he would have tried to fight the urge he could never overcome it on his own.
This is the same for many people who are struggling with paedophilia, many of them face these struggles because of what happenened to them as children and they are afraid to open up about their struggles for fear of being condemned and because they don’t get the help they need, they end up being child abusers. But not everyone that struggles with peadophilia has to end up being a child abuser. Yes there is a difference.
According to wikipedia, paedophillia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual ATTRACTION to prepubescent children.
Child abuse according to Wikipedia is maltreatment is physical, sexual, and/or psychological MALTREATMENT or neglect of a child or children, especially by a parent or other caregiver.
Therefore you can say the difference is that at the stage of paedophilia it is still an attraction but it moves unto abuse (sexual) when the attraction is acted upon. One is a feeling the other is the act.
The goal is to get paedophiles the help they need before it gets to the stage of abuse. However because of fear of condemnation and judgement, people who have those attractions never come out to get help and so often times it would become abuse.
This is one area that the devil has operated in without any opposition because it is an area no body wants to talk about and so it remains in the grossest of darkness. But if we are bold enough to address and help these people then many of the sexual abuses, rape and sexuality issues we see in the world will be eradicated. You see there are many people who would have watched the R.kelly documentary who probably struggle with the same things and would have even felt worse about themselves even though theirs may have just been urges and they actually haven’t carried out the act of abuse. The way the whole world reacted they would rather die than cry out for help . They need help.
Many of these people are young people who are facing temptations of no fault of theirs but don’t know how to or who to reach out for help. The church that they should be able to run to will be the first to condemn them.
Yes, I agree R.kelly should go to jail for what he has done because he has committed a gross crime however jail in the first place is supposed to be a place for rehabilitation and not condemntiaon. I pray in jail he gets the emotional, psychological, mental help he should have gotten since he was a kid. I pray that he is healed and delivered completely. I pray for all the victims , I pray they too get healed and they get the help they need. I pray for all padeophiles and even those that have gone on to abuse people and I pray that they heal and get the help they need. I pray for all victims of sexual abuse, I pray for healing, I pray for forgiveness and I pray that the cycle will be broken. I was abused as a child and as a child I also played sexual games with other children around me. Based on the knowledge I have now through Gods revelation and the research I have done, I know without a doubt that it is only by Gods Grace that as an adult I didn’t have urges to molest children as was done to me, and it’s by Gods grace that I didn’t have paedophilia struggles. Since the Lord began to show me the root of the cause of paedephilia and sexuality struggles as child abuse I have been very afraid that I could turn out to be one to. The enemy bombarded me with several thoughts that even made me afraid to look at my children incase I too hurt them or felt inappropriately towards them as was done to me as a child. I was even afraid to look at other women. In my recollection these things only started happening since the Lord called me into this area. Now I know this is a lie from the pit of hell but there are many who don’t and are helpless . I pray we give them the opportunity to get the help they need. I pray we just don’t #muterkelly and the many people he represents who are in the world right now feeling the worst but I pray that they actually survive.
This issue is so dear to God because if only people get the healing and help they require, if only they feel safe enough to open up about their struggles then they would not act on those struggles. Child sexual abuse is at the root cause of sexuality struggles, sexual sins, sexual abnormalities, sexual violence etc. There is too much evidence to confirm this. I have been doing a lot of research and pretty much everyone dealing with these issues were exposed as a children. Many may not admit because of the stigma around sexual abuse especially since often times it is from someone familiar or close. This is the same reason R.Kelly has failed to discuss this. Thank fully his brother opened up about it. Majority if not 100% of the cases I have researched are connected to child sexual abuse. Therefore to eradicate all these issues we must focus on getting paedophiles the help they need so that they don’t commit abuse. This is the root cause. Unfortunately, the world has been focusing on treating the symptoms but until the root cause is solved this issue will continue to thrive.
If you are dealing with any of the issues above, please send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org . The Lord loves you dearly and wants to help you overcome your struggles. You are not alone.